I’m a man in search of a dream, both literally and figuratively.
My dream is to sleep again.
In the solitude of that sleep, I will be able to dream and allow my brain and body to heal and enjoy life the way it’s supposed to be enjoyed.
It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Sleeping. Just close your eyes and drift off into another world and leave your current one behind.
For some of us, it’s the most difficult part of our lives.
I cannot sleep like a normal person because of muscle twitches and jerks at the VERY second I begin to fall asleep.
Every single time I begin slumber, a twitch and jolt from my rebellious body wakes me up.
I’m not alone either. Some call it hypnic jerks, or sleep myoclonus, or sleep starts. I call it torture.
This blog is to bring those of us suffering from this condition together. This is our voice. I’m finished suffering by myself and not knowing how to explain this to doctors or others. Let’s help each other gets our lives back. We don’t have to feel alone and helpless anymore.
I have been suffering from the same thing for the last month, and I’ve seen several different doctors, all with different ideas of what it is. One doctor told me I was probably depressed and threw anti-depressants at me. Another said I was bi-polar and told me to see a psychiatrist. When I told him it was a real, physical symptom, he decided it was restless Leg Syndrome and prescribed ropinerole. I have yet to try it because I’d made an appointment to see a psychiatrist and she actually listened and (I felt) believed me. She gave me a prescription for Lunesta, which worked to get me some sleep but is very expensive. I actually am going to try the ropinerole with the idea that maybe my dopamine is low (it is a dopaminergic drug that increases dopamine in your system) and could maybe relieve the symptoms. I doubt it, but what the hell. I am going to get a third opinion from another doctor this week, and am actually wondering if there is any other anticonvulsant besides Klonopin that might work. Getting a doctor to prescribe that for me is going to be impossible, given that I have a history of drug and alcohol use, although I’ve been mostly sober (six pack and some weed 2-3 x’s monthly) for seven years. For me, his problem started after a rare weekend binge on stimulants. I have been honest with the doctors about this, maybe I should lie to the next one? One of them did bloodwork and we ruled out toxin poisoning. So far my primary care doctor hasn’t okayed neurological testing, but would this show up on an MRI? From what I read, it won’t. I, like you, am seriously at the end of my rope. If you ever find any reason for your problem, or something that works, please let me know. This is truly hell.
I had insomnia on and off from 4th grade to senior year in college. Then, I slept like a baby for 20 years, until I was 41. Whether it was perimenopause or just a very stressful job, I’m not sure, but first I got regular insomnia, then the jerks started a few months later. I have them on and off, (I slept pretty well for about 6 months, but now it’s starting again) but when I do have trouble sleeping, they are almost always a factor. The pattern goes like this.
1. I’m not really all that tired or I’m very tense.
2. I need to go to bed, so I force myself to close my eyes and go to sleep
3. I start to have a weird dream. I’m half awake and half asleep.
4. I act out the dream and wake myself up. Once I had a dream I was in my classroom kicking a piece of paper on the floor, and my foot jerked. Once I had a dream I was opening a door and my hand rotated like I was opening the door. Last night I had a new one: I swallowed myself awake! I also have a variation where I don’t move but have to urinate very badly.
My guess: stress and anxiety, related to fear of not getting my teaching contract renewed. Sometimes I hope I don’t. I’d probably sleep better in a different job.
Yes, that sounds like stress. It is amazing that your doctor prescribed Klonopin as most doctors would want extensive tests (unless that is what they did) before they hand out the benzos. Hope it passes!